that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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