Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
this boner is exhausting
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Even my vagina gasped.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
