Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I intend to get homeless drunk
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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