i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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