then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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