just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so let's talk penis.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize