Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
