Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
