i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Randomize
