I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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