Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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