you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
