I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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