After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
