its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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