found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She's the barista slut.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
