The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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