meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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