did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Blow job season was short but glorious.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
