Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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