i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
