some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
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