I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Less talking, more tequila
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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