It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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