Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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