I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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