Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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