Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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