I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
