Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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