You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
