Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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