hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just want to make out with him forever
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
