talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
