I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
