So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
