There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
