Where is the hickey?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
