It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
