I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
