On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
