Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
