question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
