Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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