is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
