Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize