I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
