only if we run a train.
done.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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