she looked like the before picture.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
