she looked like the bat from fern gully.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
