And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize