she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Alive.
So much puke
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
