small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i need some magic done to my vagina
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
