A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
