whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
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